4 Signs That You’re Overriding You’re Intuition… and How to Get Back on Track

July 9, 2021 Posted in: ASK AN EXPERT

I see lots of really awesome mamas overriding their own good intuition. Not trusting themselves to make good decisions that reflect their values and their unique point of view.

Our culture has a cacophony of good advice flying at us from every point of view — and damn, can it get complicated!  It’s often hard to hear our own voice as mamas (especially because we are all basically tired).  It’s difficult to listen over the din of Frozen’s “Let it Go” that’s always circulating in our heads.

There are plenty of times I’ve overridden my own intuition, and I could really have used a few reminders to NOT DO THAT.  From giving my child general anesthesia rather than nitrous for a dental procedure (still feel yucky about that one) to “trying out” a school I knew wasn’t a good fit for my kid — my gut was giving me signs and signals that I kept ignoring.

Here are some clues and tips to notice so you can recalibrate and use your most reliable and innate gift of motherly intuition.

1. Your brain feels confused.
   The advice from that parenting blog or your well-intentioned neighbor keeps repeating in your head.  This is because your intellect is overriding your gut.   It’s like you want to talk yourself into something because your brain says it’s logical but something inside is not sitting right.  Honor this feeling — it’s you talking to you. You do not need to rush to make decisions from a confusing place! 

    

2. You keep asking for opinions and researching obsessively.
   You are bleary-eyed from googling one more perspective long after your bedtime, reading one more blog, one more article. Another inquiry to your friend or conversation with the checker at the grocery store — when will it be enough?  When you find yourself trying to get an answer from the outside over and over again it usually means you should go within. 

   Will staying up late searching “ear tubes” again really help you decide if you want to do the intervention or go the natural route with your kids’ ear infections?  No, what will help is for you to take stock of the information you’ve gleaned and run it through your gut. Take all that chatter and really sift through it, asking your body,  “What is the ‘right action’ for me and my child?”

    

3. You’re trying to do something exactly the way your mother/ best friend/ Gwenyth Paltrow did it. 
   And you’re asking yourself, “What am I doing? This isn’t me.”  From babywearing that makes your back hurt to considering sleep training to weighing “time in/ time out” for tantrums — we have to be able to make our own choices.  If your intuition doesn’t vibe with what’s on Instagram, what your playgroup moms are doing, or what is traditional to your family, that’s totally okay.  Telling yourself that your inner guide is more important than the outer culture is your place of power. 

   And remember you can always change your approach (#myprerogative)!

    

4. You are deferring quickly to someone else to avoid the decision. We all give away our power from time to time and we all know that pit-in-the-stomach feeling when we’re doing it.  It feels so icky, right? That feeling is there as an inborn warning system to keep us out of danger.  Today we don’t need to run from tigers that often, but our bodily emergency alert system is still fully functional.I suggest slowing down to give yourself space to check in with your own point of view.  Try these statements out to give yourself room to process your next steps: 

• “Honey, let’s sleep on it.”
• “Dad, you have a good point, and I want to think about it more so I can make my best decision.”
• To your overzealous, antibiotic-trigger-happy doctor, “I’d like to consider these options and get back to you.”Simply, hitting pause creates the opportunity for you to get clear and step into your truth. Create an environment for your intuition to show up. 

The answer is always there — in your body and heart. Your power is always inside you, waiting to be heard.  When you start listening within, you’re crafting a life based on your values and what you deeply care about. Trust your intuition. It’s a valuable gift!